JOY OF LOVE. THE FOUNDATION OF indissolubility of marriage

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The nullity of the marriage almost always emerges dramatically after a certain time, more or less long, They can also take years and be half of the children, even if we are married in church, and it was a marriage celebrated with great solemnity: red carpet from the entrance of the church to the altar richly decorated, bouquets of exotic flowers, along all the pews, Photographers who's operators, enthusiastic and emotional crowd of high society people, abundant supply to the pastor. Yet it was a simple staging. Despite the solemn High Mass and solemn blessing, grace can be dropped, but certainly not the grace of marriage, since it lacked the suitable material. The poor priest, attorniato the concelebrated, It took, as the Romans say, a beautiful buggeratura [or called in Roman: hath pijato 'na alone].

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One of the goals he set itself Jesus Christ in his teaching and his work was to present, restore and promote the original divine plan on man, described in Genesis, indicated as the model of human conduct, compatibly to the fallen state of nature after original sin.

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It was not a recovery full and total state of innocence, but only to some elements, Christ has proposed as realizable, by the help of his grace and through an appropriate discipline, in this mortal life, weakened by sin, some elements of that happy original condition.

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"Indissolubility of marriage" It does not mean that de facto the constraint can not be dissolved, otherwise there would be no divorce. Indissolubility means he must not be loose, namely that there is no right to dissolve the bond. So, this act can never be good. Indeed, it is God's will that man be united to his wife,, in such a way that the two are no longer two, but only one flesh. But it does not create a union that in fact can not be broken, as instead is the unbreakable union which exists for example between the color of a vessel and the vessel itself, or the union that exists between the soul and its faculties. Man and woman are made to join together, but it depends on their willingness to implement and maintain this union. God wants them to be together forever; but to them it is possible to disobey this will and divide. They should never loosen the constraint; but it depends on them to respect, keep it, keep; or break it, breach it or dissolve it, ie divide. It's clear that, if they remain united, They do the will of God; if you divide, Peccano.

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What is the reason for which husband and wife They must remain united forever in a unique love, exclusive, incommunicable to others or not partecipabile or shared by others? God does not say "will join any woman or more women", but "the its donna”.

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Because God does not allow the group love or polygamy or the occasional love or part-time or the succession of women? God's will leaves instead suggests that every man must match that date women and not others, and vice versa. It's a bit 'as the fact that each lock is necessary that key date and not others, or to those who have defective eyesight, We need those glasses data and not others.

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With original sin This divine plan was overshadowed in the minds of men, their will began to tend to sin, while their forces began to be insufficient to achieve this high ideal.

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In the Old Testament, It gave, with the law of Moses, shows a certain tolerance, allowing polygamy and divorce, especially in some important characters, patriarchs and kings. But with the new covenant, stipulated by Christ, God wants, in Christ and with Christ's grace, is re-established the original project, at least in its fundamental lines, necessary to a proper reproduction of the human species.

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Christ thereby establishing marriage as the sacrament of salvation and sanctification. It is always the same natural marriage bond, It revealed on the Genesis, in its unity, indissolubility, exclusivity and fruitfulness, but purified, enriched, high and strengthened by supernatural grace, so that the bride and groom, Despite their weaknesses and their sinfulness, may be able, with God's help, to be faithful to their love for life and overcome trials, difficulties and temptations, fulfilling the obligations of marriage and the family.

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With the establishment of Christ, fidelity and indissolubility of the bond for life again becomes an obligation for all. Now, But, God allows some life conditions that make it impossible for the full restoration of the Edenic marriage. The first of these conditions is the existence of death.

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This allows the lawfulness of remarriage. This fact is connected in turn to the second condition, namely that in the present life This perfect reciprocity is very rare. It happens then, that second marriages are made possible and are justified by the above-mentioned very rare possibility of the existence of so-called "soul mates", ie for a perfect match or reciprocity, irreplaceable and exclusive between this man and gave that date woman.

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In this life, the expression "his woman" remains valid, but it loses the rigor and determination. The exact correspondence Edenic remains just a dream or an illusion for many, which, however, they are called to settle for something less, that does not make it impossible to fidelity until death.

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But many today unfortunately they conceive marry like buying a car or a computer, whereby, if you find a better product, They are inclined to leave the old for the new. This difficulty finding the suitable partner can come to the point that the subject remains only. The other part, Christ also introduces the ideal of religious life, which implies the renunciation of marriage. This does not mean that the regime of the New Covenant does not continue to rely on the principle of gender reciprocity and "his woman". It should be noted, indeed, that, In the Genesis, God does not say, "cleaves to his wife", but "his woman". In fact the term used here is Ishan, which means "woman", while to say "wife", Hebrew has balah.

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These words of Genesis, as is known, They are taken by Christ in the Gospel of Matthew [cf. 19,5]. that my, since the greek has gyne, so to speak donna to say that wife, the greek text does not do exactly what the Jewish. However, as in Matthew Christ speaks of marriage, it is right to make gyne with "wife". Whatever, from the Genesis is that reciprocity or union or male-female communion, as you call it, It is not reduced to the husband-wife relationship, but it is a broader value, that touches the human being as such, and can and should concern every human being, man or woman, secular or religious, and that it is.

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The indissolubility of marriage It supposes that God creates every man and every woman with its own, it needs, unmistakable and unchanging identity, which remains unchanged and unchanging over time until eternity. If, however, the Edenic state the identification and recognition of this identity was not any trouble, in the present state of fallen nature, this discernment becomes difficult, and it requires a special intuition or introspection, that Husserl's phenomenology calls empathy [1], word which in Italian translates as "empathy" or "entropathy". In the epistemology of Blessed Duns Scotus is similarly admits the chance to grasp the thisness of that given single person.

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It is clear that very few They can avail themselves of similar philosophical methods, whereas the vocation of marriage is the vocation of the vast majority of the population. It must therefore be found a simpler method, which would allow two young people like, to be able to tell if they are made to marry. To know this, You need both to notice of that reciprocity, they must objectively understand and enjoy the intimate the substantial identity of each other, the value of his person, the character qualities, without ignoring the flaws, going beyond appearances, in addition to matters perishable, surface and those which may or may be accidental occurrences, to grasp the essence of his personality. This is the fundamental basis of a pact and tighten an unbreakable bond.

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About this issue immutable identity of the person, from more than three centuries, we deal with the objection, that is English empiricism, especially by Locke, followed then by Hume, who, exaggerating the part of the experience in human knowledge, and neglecting to cultivate the intellectual activity, lose sight of this unchanging substantive core of the person, that is the foundation and raison d'etre of all forms of contract or human stipulation, that are to be established for always.

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In these visions of reality and therefore also of the human person does not give definitive and absolutely certain truth, but every theory or law can always be changed to the rise of new experiences. Accidental mutations invade the whole field of knowledge, by which a thing or a person is not defined with the claim to grasp the identity, the essence, the substance, o la thisness, as if it he was hidden behind the accidents or sensitive phenomena.

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The substance, according to the empiricists, is none other than the unified collection of accidents, which do not refer to anything other than themselves, to each other, Mutually. The person is like a cloud in the sky, or a drop of water or a flame: it's no distinguishing an immutable substance changing accidents, but everything changes and evolves, even if the cloud or the drop or the flame may be the same. From what you understand that, this conception of the person, any promise or any commitment made comes comes caught, and here of course it falls on the promise of marital fidelity, everything always implies the reserves to maintain the pacts, It will not happen until something expected or unexpected, grounds that their dissolution or annulment.

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Vice versa, Once the two realize they be made for each other, in view of the foundation of a family, It arises in their hearts desire to be together for life, precisely with the intention of realizing this regard [2]. This will establishes and conditions the truth O validity the covenant or marriage bond, It gives for which, if you get married for different reasons or contrary to this will, which bases, justifies, guarantees and constitutes the essence the marriage covenant, this pact does not exist, it is invalid, it is null. Similarly, It would be nothing priestly ordination based on a false concept of the priesthood, as is for example that of Rahner.

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Nullity of marriage almost always it emerges in a dramatic way after a certain time, more or less long, They can also take years and be half of the children, even if we are married in church, and it was a marriage celebrated with great solemnity: red carpet from the entrance of the church to the altar richly decorated, bouquets of exotic flowers, along all the pews, Photographers who's operators, enthusiastic and emotional crowd of high society people, abundant supply to the pastor. Yet it was a simple staging. Despite the solemn High Mass and solemn blessing, grace can be dropped, but certainly not the grace of marriage, since it lacked the suitable material. The poor priest, attorniato the concelebrated, It took, as the Romans say, a beautiful buggeratura [or called in Roman: hath pijato 'na alone].

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It is not excluded that the couple, noticing the nullity of marriage, succeed, after all, to move forward, especially for the sake of the children. It is good to do it. Quite another thing however is divorce. It is one grave disobedience to God's will, will that remains intact and unchanged, although disregarded by the two. In this sense, marriage is indissoluble. The two can be unfaithful, but God is faithful, and he gives them a way to repent and come back together. Divorce is therefore the divide what God has joined together, and who wants to be joined. Divorce is a grave sin against justice and charity in those who, one of the two or both, despite having contracted a valid marriage, It is unfaithful to the sacred pact celebrated before God and the Church. Of course, if the two regularly married, do not make it longer live together, it is good that they part. However, It remains valid constraint before God and the Church, and can not contract a new marriage. Vice versa, if two like, this is not a sufficient reason to go on living together, especially if they are related to a previous valid marriage. The above shall be null and now they have met the true love. But to address the matter before God, to the Church and to their conscience as Catholics, They must first obtain a declaration of nullity, and then will be able to contract a new marriage blessed by God.

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As to mixed marriages, You must be careful. There are cases, for instance, Unions between a Christian and a Muslim, that do not give concerns. It, however, is occurring in other cases, It seems more numerous, that the Muslim side wants to compel the Christian to be Muslim. In this case, if the Christian part warns that has endangered his faith, It can be considered dissolved by the marriage bond. Questoi case was already covered by St. Paul [cf. The Cor 7, 12-15], and therefore it is called the "Pauline privilege" and was implemented in Canon law [Can.1143, § 1].

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So the Church distinguishes four cases, in which the two can indulge: three licit and dutiful, and an illegal. Cases in which they must leave:

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1. Concubinage (cohabitation more uxorio between two unmarried);

2. Pauline privilege;

3. marriage null. Case apart, which would be the fourth, it is rather the case of divorce.

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Be careful not to confuse: annulment, dissolution and divorce. Cancellation or declaration of invalidity is the judgment of the ecclesiastical court, declaring that a true bond there has never been, despite the previous coexistence and the presence of children. The dissolution is the effect of divine mercy, which wants to protect the faithful or loyal, although the bond was valid. Instead the divorce is the breakup of a valid constraint. That being the case, in valid and true marriage, the two promise each other to be faithful all his life to this covenant of love, which it is the marriage covenant, by virtue of which they become husband and wife. At the time of this Decision, God unites them forever and blesses them with his grace. They join consciously, voluntarily and freely. But this very act of their will is fulfillment of God's will, Who wanted them to unite eternity and eternity has designed their wedding. Unfortunately today, with historicist and evolutionist mindset that has also crept in Catholic circles, few reflect on the greatness of this love, called to be an eternal love and even, as a sacrament, a saving love, a way of salvation.

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many ironic on this and believe it is a fine utopia, if not a deception, looking at the depressing sight of so many separations, many betrayals, of many disappointments, many divorces, many extinct loves, of so many failed marriages, of so many broken families. But also overcame this obstacle and refuted empiricism, by showing how the intellect can not do without the idea of ​​substance [3], other problems arise. Indeed, yet all this is not enough to look to the future with confidence and serenity, without fear of disappointments or disappointments, for the fact that, also admitted the possibility of grasping the essence of the, the indissolubility of marriage is not the simple loyalty to a fixed and immutable as, which may be the essence of my person and that of the other, but fidelity to the daily commitment of both, which is supposed to continuously, consistent and persevere over time For all life.

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Now, we all know how many changes take place in our conduct. How can you commit for a lifetime with someone who maybe now is good, but then it becomes bad? And if I betray? And if he hid me some bad things? And if he had a bad past that may return? anguished questions, when you love someone.

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The third of the conditions, typical of fallen nature, and the lust, namely the fact that the desire or sexual drive is not the consequence of love and encouragement to love, is no longer self-giving and availability to each other, is no longer bring joy to others and rejoice in the gift which the other makes of himself, but in his youth uncontrolled lust and enjoyment and use of the other selfish, while in old age and disease is the desire languishes in frigidity and even in disgust. The youth must be curbed; in old age must be strengthened.

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St. Paul, with his famous theory of marriage as remedy for concupiscence [cf. The Cor 7,9] obviously has an eye only the boiling youth and not the weakness of seniority. One gets the impression that he did not consider good thing the sexual act, so it becomes excusable and tolerable in marriage: "It's good for them to remain as I am; but if you can not live in continence, they get married; it is better to marry than to burn " [vv.8-9]. But all that seems to underlie Paul in a dissociation if not a contrast between love and sexual union. Unfortunately there it was realized for centuries that here Paul does not truly reflect the vision of Genesis and even the Evangelical, where being "one flesh" is seen as something good, is in itself [Gen 2], and in relation to procreation [Gen 1].

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Only in the last century the Second Vatican Council, in the Pastoral Constitution The joy and hope, He deleted this duality teaching instead the link between marital love and sexual union with these words: "This love is expressed and perfected uniquely through the exercise of acts, that they are proper to marriage; it follows that the acts with which the spouses are united in chaste intimacy,, are honorable and worthy and, achieved in a truly human way, promote mutual self-giving, they signify and enriches the spouses in joy and gratitude same " [n.49].

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Blessed Paul VI He has taken this teaching in the encyclical Human life [n.11], and St. John Paul II has further developed it, as recalled by the current Pontiff Exhortation The joy of love, when he says that "in his catechesis on the theology of the human body, Saint John Paul II taught that sexual corporeity is "not only the source of fertility and procreation", but it has "the ability to express love: that love precisely, in which the person becomes a gift '' [n.152].

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If man can not dominate the sexual instinct before or outside or after marriage, We will not succeed even in marriage. The remedy to concupiscence is not marriage, but it is the self-control education. If you search for the marriage to satisfy the lust, It remains slaves of instinct, It is scarce in mental clarity, in the strength of will and sense of responsibility, which it is necessary for maintaining marital fidelity, and endangers the stability of the marriage bond. Or, no one is satisfied of his wife, but is seeking other opportunities to satisfy itself, especially when the attractiveness of the bride fades with age. Sexual intercourse in marriage must be free act of love and not the outburst of a passion, you can not hold back. This is the right way to preserve the fidelity. But the indissolubility of marriage is also justified by the fact that the education of children requires a caring presence of parents, that never end, and generally it results from the mutual cooperation of parents. You know how the thinking of children is a strong incentive to conjugal fidelity. Moreover, seniority lived together in mutual support is also a powerful factor of fidelity to a single love.

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At this point then we see how a marital fidelity seriously thought and truly lived is not possible without a relationship with God. Because of this, among all peoples, the rite of marriage is always a sacred rite. We had to get to our secularized society, to reduce the ritual of marriage or the marriage contract to a secular ceremony in the City, as if you were to enter into a lease or to register a change of ownership. But unfortunately too often we see how the religious marriages are in crisis. They are multiplying null marriages.

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The crisis of marriages it depends, basically, in my opinion, from a crisis of faith among believers. We no longer feel the importance, the height and arduità values ​​and the elements that I have set out above. It considers marriage not as a transcendent reality, which depends so we, ma especially by divine grace. You see marriage as any land contract, in the power of our decisions, as erroneously thought Luther, when he denied the sacramental nature of marriage.

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If you meditate seriously over the value of marriage, as I tried to suggest in this article, you'll immediately notice that it is not possible to address the enterprise without relying on God and rely on His grace.

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A phenomenon that today's sobering It is one of those divorced and remarried, they would like to receive Communion and, also staying Exhortation The joy of love, They do not have permission. Some would like to confess. It makes you wonder: but in the irregular condition and scandalous, where there are, What drives them to desire the sacraments? They can be repented or at least one of the two, but had no way to stop their relationship. And on the other hand, It may not succeed to do to live as brother and sister. The Holy Father said that may be in the grace. So they are not forgotten of God and the Church. And God and the Church have not forgotten them.

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Varazze, 4 May 2016

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NOTE

[1] See the study of Edth Stein, The Problem of Empathy, pp. 157-158, Studium Editions, Rome, 1985.

[2] Speaking of marriage between St. Joseph and Our Lady, St. Thomas gives this remarkable definition: "The form of marriage consists in a certain inseparable conjunction of minds, for which the partners are required to remain faithful to each other indivisibly ", QUESTION, III, q.29, a.2.

[3] cf M. D.Philippe, Philosophy Essay - The be - Looking for a first philosophy – I, Who are you, Paris 1972, chap.III; T.Tyn, Metaphysics of substance. Participation and analogy entis, edited by G. Horses, Editions Faith&Culture, Verona, 2009.

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