LOVE, UNDERSTOOD AS A FEELING, IT DOES NOT HAVE A SEXUAL CONNOTATION, WORDS OF «HOMOPHOBIC PRIEST»

There is a subject who has long delighted in calling me "homophobic" and "an unresolved person obsessed with homosexuality". Those who know him have defined him as "malignant homosexual at maximum power". In response I promptly corrected and replied: «Immediately eliminate the word “homosexual” and leave only the word evil, because he would be such even if he were the most heterosexual in the entire European Union. Homosexuality, with its evil nature, it has nothing to do with it".

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Dear Michelangelo,

The worst thing a priest could do when faced with a letter like yours is a "lesson" in Catholic doctrine and morals. They exist, of course, both one and the other: Catholic doctrine and morality, but above all there is the person, understood as a creature created in the image and likeness of God.

In the Gospel, precisely referring to the observance of the law on the Sabbath, therefore in a certain sense to Jewish doctrine and morality, the Evangelist Mark refers to Jesus warning: «The Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath» (MC 2,27).

More or less we all know the teachings of the magisterium regarding sexual morality, inserted, however, in the mystery of God's grace and mercy, which requires the Church to deal first and foremost with the person, assisting her especially in moments of discouragement and weakness. For this reason we must keep Jesus' words clearly in mind: "Woe also to you, lawyers!, because you load people with burdens that are difficult to carry, and you do not touch those weights even with a finger" (LC 11,46). If you want the same concept - certainly in a different but still incisive form - we also find it in the famous ballad of the prostitute, by Fabrizio De André, where it says: «People are known to give good advice, feeling like Jesus in the temple; we know that people give good advice if they can no longer set a bad example" (Rose's Mouth, by Fabrizio De André and Gian Piero Reverberi, 1967).

The fact that you feel affection and attraction towards your friend It shouldn't upset you too much, nor let you fall into situations of discomfort and psychological suffering. Man remains largely a mystery and with him the feelings he contains within himself. At a stage of life like yours, everything is still growing, maturing, in definition: you are only a twenty year old and you are also trying to understand your emotional dimension. If to mature a dimension of emotional and sexual life it was enough to be born male or female, it would all be very simple. In reality, instead, emotional and sexual maturation requires a journey that can sometimes be long. This applies not only to people who will then experience their sexuality in concrete terms, but also for those who renounce the exercise of sexuality, such as me and my brothers, without losing the essence of virility that, before even being physical, it is psychological and remains a precious asset to be cherished for life, even when the body no longer responds to sexual impulses. On the contrary, precisely in the season of peace of mind the virility that structures the psychology of man and of the priest can be particularly enriched. In this world there are those who experience sexuality as an expression of love and those who renounce its exercise to achieve another form of love, founded not on a renunciation as an end in itself, worse on a mental castration, but on a principle of total donation. As you can see, sexuality really has many facets.

You ask me: «this affection-love that I feel for my friend, which is naturally messy...". I'll answer you clearly: an affection-love towards a friend is not disordered. Nor are you obligated to feel that affection for a girl. Affection and love, as such, you can try them for a boy, a girl, a child or an elderly person, a disabled person or a terminally ill person who is dying; you can try them for a parent or grandparent. The love, understood as a feeling, It does not have a sexual connotation. Christ does not command men to love women and women to love men: gives us a universal commandment, without distinction, saying: «My commandment is this: that you love one another as I have loved you" (GV 15,12).

What you are experiencing is first and foremost an affective experience. It is important to, so, distinguish with serenity between affection, link, need for closeness and what instead belongs to a specifically sexual dimension. Not everything intense is necessarily messy; he is often simply human and asks to be understood, polite and oriented. Don't rush to define yourself with such strict categories. You are not a label, you are not a definition: you are a person on the move. You don't have to be afraid of the good you feel, but only learn to live it in truth and freedom. And what about your friend, Don't be in a hurry to "say" or "don't say". Sometimes silence guards better than words; other times, however, a word said with simplicity and truth can clarify. However, this must be evaluated with caution, without being guided by anxiety or urgency. Meanwhile, continue your spiritual journey. The fact that you have a spiritual director is a very important thing: even if you don't get to see it often, always remains a point of reference. Inner life doesn't grow only in meetings, but also in daily faithfulness. Then, as you can see, today we have telematic tools that allow us direct and immediate contact, something unthinkable in anything but remote times, when you sent a letter that arrived after a couple of weeks and then received a response after the same amount of time.

To the question whether homosexuality is in and of itself a good thing, I have to answer no: for Catholic morality it is a sin, a disordered lifestyle. However, the tone changes completely if we move from sin to the person, or better said from sin to sinner. Sin is condemned, while the person welcomes and forgives. It is the Holy Gospel itself that clarifies it: «It is not the healthy who need a doctor, and in sickness» (Mt 9,12), says Jesus, which he specifies shortly after: «I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners ". Said this, something I invite you to do very simply: Don't fight yourself as if you were a problem to be solved. Instead, get to know yourself, to bring to light what you experience, to put him before God. The Lord is not scandalized by your effort, not even your falls. It accompanies you in your efforts, picks you up when you fall, He supports you even through the voice of a sinner like me. And I'll tell you more: the more I am aware of my being a sinner, the more I feel unworthy and, for this, a real instrument - albeit imperfect - of God's grace and mercy, who gave himself through the incarnate Word, made himself a lamb to wash, with the blood of the cross, the sins of the world.

I am a friend and confidant of many people who live their homosexuality in the sunlight, without posing any particular problems, towards whom I have always been careful not to make unsolicited moral judgments. At the same time, I am a confessor, spiritual director e, if you want, also doctor of the soul of people who do not experience certain impulses of their libido in a serene way, they keep them hidden and often suffer beyond measure. I have always told all of them that we will not be judged so much for what we have done "from the waist down", but on charity, on the love given. What the Evangelist Matthew reports is a clear warning of this, when Jesus teaches that the final judgment will be based on the concrete charity shown towards those most in need, whom we will have welcomed and treated as if they were Christ himself (cf.. Mt 25,31-46).

Dear son, I trust you that, while I was answering you, my thoughts were crossed in passing by the aggressive words of a person who has long delighted in calling me "homophobic" and "an unresolved person obsessed with homosexuality". Those who know him have defined him as "malignant homosexual at maximum power". In response I promptly corrected and replied: «Immediately eliminate the word “homosexual” and leave only the word evil, because he would be such even if he were the most heterosexual in the entire European Union. Homosexuality, with its evil nature, it has nothing to do with it".

I don't ask you for a prayer for me: I ask you for this poor unfortunate man. the, for my part, I will continue to welcome everyone, as I always have done, without asking anyone for theirs pedigree sexual, Why, if I didn't, I would betray the mission that Christ, through the Sacrament of Orders, he entrusted to me through the ministry of the Church, which implies the human and spiritual maturity to forgive the wicked, certainly not to forgive the saints.

I bless you from the bottom of my heart.

From the island of Patmos, 3 May 2026

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